Friday Funny

Haven't done one of these in awhile, but this was awesome:

5 Minutes in a Mom's Head

An excerpt of my morning thoughts, but sadly this isn't nearly as funny...

Ahhhh.... Sleepy.  Oh crud, I must have pushed snooze! Why don't I remember doing that?  I need a shower. Wait, no time now - will get A in the shower, and then I'll grab one after I drop her at school.  Man, I hope I don't have to get out of the car.  Of course my roots are awful anyway.  Did I ever buy that box of hair color?

I hear stomping, so at least D is up already. Did he finish that project last night? What can he eat for breakfast? There are some leftovers from dinner - wait, hubby probably is eating those right now before leaving for work. What can I make for dinner tonight? I had that meal plan all made out, just wish I could remember where I left the paper. Wait, paper.  Did I already sign A's homework log?



Ahhhhh, tomorrow is Saturday!!

Kids and Church

"Kids are spending a very small amount of time in church activities, and many of those activities have very little theological, biblical, or spiritual content. As a result, we have a generation of young people who believe that there is a God, but they don’t have any particular god in mind.

We should be exhorting each other, helping each other, equipping each other. Christian young people should be drawn into the church, but not in a way that isolates them with other young people."

Some excellent points - and practical encouragement for parents - here.

A few further thoughts/clarifications:

- I just want to say that it's not the church's responsibility to train the children - that falls squarely on the shoulders of the parents. The church, however, is a valuable partner in reinforcing the teaching that the children receive at home. And realistically, there are going to be times that a child does not want to talk with their parents, and a pastor, youth leader, etc. can help bridge that gap when necessary... we're all one body! (Romans 12:4-10)

- Furthermore, every moment spent inside a church shouldn't be devoted to deep study. God created us as social beings, and fellowship with the believers is essential. Simply talking with someone, learning about their struggles and sharing some encouragement, is one expression of God's love. And doing that in the "safe" environment of the church is one way to establish a strong foundation in Christ - we just have to make sure that we are also comfortable getting out into the world to share the message, too.

The Difference between Mom and God

A great post - it definitely challenged my heart this morning. Click here.

Wondrous Mommy Moment

Yes, I'm back with a 2nd post!!

Our 5 YO was helping me clean the bathroom - we were singing "Friend of God" while he wiped down the wall and I scrubbed the toilet. Well, he asked why he was God's friend and I said that we become God's friend when we ask Jesus into our heart. He said that he shouldn't sing that song, because he hadn't asked Jesus to live in his heart... and I, of course, asked if He'd like to. And then I had the awesome privilege of putting down the toilet scrubber, walking to the couch, and praying with our son. (And yes, I'm tearing up as I type this). Now we're family in the most important sense of the word!!

Friday Funny

Thinking of Having Kids? Try this 11 step program to prepare!

Lesson 1
1. Go to the grocery store.
2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home.
4. Pick up the paper.
5. Read it for the last time.

Lesson 2
Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...
1. Methods of discipline.
2. Lack of patience.
3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.
4. Allowing their children to run wild.
5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.
Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.

Lesson 3
A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...
1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)
2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.
4. Set the alarm for 3AM.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.
6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.
9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.

Lesson 4
Can you stand the mess children make? To find out...
1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains
2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed, then rub them on the clean walls.
4. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.
5. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons.
How does that look?

Lesson 5
Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.
1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.
Time allowed for this - all morning.

Lesson 6
Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.
1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there.
2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.
3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.
4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Lesson 7
Go to the local grocery store. Take the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child with you (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Lesson 8
1. Hollow out a melon.
2. Make a small hole in the side.
3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.You are now ready to feed a nine-month-old baby.

Lesson 9
Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street, Dora, Diego, the Wiggles, and the Disney Princesses. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you're thinking What's 'Noggin'?) Exactly the point.

Lesson 10
Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Lesson 11
Start talking to an adult of your choice.. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

Requesting help from veteran moms!

We had an interesting situation arise here earlier this morning - one of our daughter's dress-up skirts was cut, and both kids said the other one did it. Obviously, one of them was lying (yes, I am a master of the obvious! :) so I didn't want to get carried away with punishing the innocent one. So how would you handle this?

What I did: both kids went to time out, both continuing to proclaim the others' guilt. I spoke with each of them separately, reminding them that lying is wrong and makes God sad. They both sat and occasionally tried to convince me that it was other one - I told them I didn't want to hear anything until one of them was ready to say, "I did it." After about 15 minutes, the fuzzball 'fessed up (which I had suspected, as the cuts were awfully jagged for her skilled bro to have done it). I had her apologize to her brother for getting him in trouble, and then he got to choose one of her toys to become "his" for the day, plus she was then disciplined for both cutting and lying about it.

I know this is only going to get harder. Too bad I don't have Solomon on speed dial...

Random Reading

Just browsing around the blogosphere this past week, and came across some articles.

• Are we inadvertently changing the Word of God by making Bible stories "age appropriate"? I've thought of this as I'm reading to the kids from their Kiddie Bible (which REALLY condenses things) and also as I prepare lessons to teach at church. Read a bit more about that here (and there are some good comments, too).
• We aren't raising children - we're raising ADULTS. We want the darling little people to grow into functioning members of society right? Well here's a handy resource that lists out age appropriate chores.

(both of these sites were found through "Fun Finds for April" over at Making Home. There's plenty more to explore over there if you have some time)

We're all still looking for ways to stretch a buck, right? Some good tips here. Or take it to another level, and think about this.

Working on becoming a Titus 2 woman? Thoughts on what it means to love our husbands here.

Read this quite awhile ago, but don't think I ever shared the link: "Forty Things I've Learned in Life"

And finally, just for laughs, dive into some vintage cookbooks here.

Raising kids, foolishness and grace

So earlier this week I loaded the kids up in the car to go check out the pictures we'd had taken last month. Frankly, I was already tired from all the general busyness, had the beginnings of a headache, and was worried because I knew I'd want to spend too much moolah. The pictures were every bit as adorable as I'd anticipated, and I had a hard time narrowing it down. It was also a time to get a bit misty; we did this same fundraiser two years ago and it was the first professional photographs we'd had done with the two kids together. How they've changed! Anyway, I gathered up the pictures, wrote out the check, oversaw a potty stop, herded the kids back to the car, and settled into the driver's seat with a big sigh. Seat belt securely fastened, I started driving back home where more tasks were waiting.

Now I do want to back track a little here to set the stage: our pastor has recently started preaching through I Corinthians, and in the opening chapters Paul writes extensively about worldly vs. Godly wisdom. He also speaks of God's grace.

So anyway, as I'm driving home, my Rich Mullins CD is playing and I'm singing along, enjoying the brief interlude. The kids are actually being quiet, simply looking out the windows and taking in the sights. "Let Mercy Lead" starts up. A very nice song, one I can remember listening to in college. I start singing the first few words, but suddenly I didn't want to sing anymore. Time to simply listen.

Aidan you're young
But Aidan you're growing fast
Me and your mom
And all the love we have
We can only take you so far
As far as we can
But you'll need something more to guide your heart
As you grow into a man

Let mercy lead
Let love be the strength in your legs
And in every footprint that you leave
There'll be a drop of grace
If we can reach
Beyond the wisdom of this age
Into the foolishness of God
That foolishness will save
Those who believe
Although their foolish hearts may break
They will find peace
And I'll meet you in that place
Where mercy leads

Aidan the day
Aidan the day will come
You'll run the race
That takes us way beyond
All our trials and all our failures
And all the good we dream of
But you can't see yet where it is you're heading
But one day you'll see the face of love

Let mercy lead
Let love be the strength in your legs
And in every footprint that you leave
There'll be a drop of grace
If we can reach
Beyond the wisdom of this age
Into the foolishness of God
That foolishness will save
Those who believe
Although their foolish hearts may break

They will find peace

And I'll meet you in that place

Where mercy leads

I don't know the exact story, but I vaguely remember hearing that he'd written this song for a nephew or a friend's son or something (he didn't have children of his own). But now I'm thinking of my own kids, and their growth as shown in the photographs lying next to me on the seat. And I'm being convicted by the simple words pouring from the speakers. How are we raising our kids? I know I've written about it often, but it's a subject dear to my heart. Are we teaching them the importance of mercy? Whose wisdom am I focusing on? Certainly knowledge is important, but "the foolishness of God" (I Cor 1:25) is absolutely vital. I'd love to know that each footprint - every muddy track as our son currently tears through life with his little sister desperately trying to keep up, and particularly as they grow larger and break new ground - will contain "a drop of grace." That they can share the truth with others, even if their hearts are broken in the process. For they will know the Healer and His peace.

Just a little reminder of what really matters, squeezed into a busy day. Don't you just love how the Lord meets us right where we are? So I wiped away a few tears (just like I'm doing again now) and continued on with the tasks at hand, praying that I'll do better. That I, too, can leave a trail of grace.

Friday Funny

I know this video has been making the rounds, and odds are you've already seen it, but I have to share it anyway. It really is hysterical (and if you click through to YouTube, the lyrics are posted, too)



I'm the Mom!!

Prayer Request Basket

I just came across this marvelous idea of tracking prayer requests on The Sparrow's Nest.. We'll definitely be implementing this idea in our house soon!!

Shining Like Stars

"Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe."

Philippians 2:14-15

I had mentioned a couple weeks ago that I was reading Authentic Parenting in a Postmodern Culture. Well, one of the tidbits that has stuck with me is the challenge to parent without complaining. I ride my kids for whining - but I'm equally guilty of this annoying habit. Am I shining? Not really. I'm just another one of the grumpy SAHMs who lists off all the awful things are kids are doing. Can I ever empathize with struggling moms - and probably even one-up them on stories. "You wouldn't believe what my son did last week..." But what if I just keep my mouth shut and offer encouragement instead. How much brighter would my own light shine, pointing them to our Heavenly Father. Something I'll continue to work on...

What's my Goal?

After my not-so-great Monday, I decided it was time to reread Creative Correction by Lisa Whelchel. I purchased this book when our son was just a few months old - I read it in bits and pieces while nursing him. I found it encouraging, easy to read, full of scripture and very practical. But frankly I wouldn't be dealing with most of those issues for a few years. So I read it and stashed it on my bookshelf. Had pulled it out a couple times to browse a particular chapter. But now I'm reading the whole thing. Let me share a passage that really touched me yesterday:

When it comes to having misplaced priorities, I'm definitely guilty! Much of the time, my goal in parenting is simply to have well-behaved children - not for some higher, godly purpose, but for my own peace and quiet. My life is so much simpler and more enjoyable when the kiddos obey me without arguing and when they get along with each other. As a result, I'm quick to correct them, sometimes in anger, when my comfort is disturbed, without considering how I'm modeling God to them...

It's vital that we step away from the pandemonium of parenting from time to time and remind ourselves of the true goal - to have kids who are drawing an accurate picture of God in their hearts and learning how to relate to Him as their creator each day.

Modeling God to our kids is a tall order, In fact, I would be the first to admit that my representation of God is imperfect. But that's the nature of a reflection. It's backward in a mirror, upside-down in a spoon, blurry in a window, and always one-dimensional. Though we should strive to be godly, we can never perfectly reflect God. Instead, our goal should be to ensure that our reflection of God draws our children closer to Him - and that it makes them long to touch the real thing.

Amen.

Bad Mommy Moment

Ever had one of those days? Yesterday I was definitely off my game. I needed to go to the grocery store (we were out of eggs, milk, bread, and down to a pear and a mango in the fruit dept) - well, usually I keep our daughter in the cart and let our son walk next to me. He just wouldn't listen, though, and I was harping on him throughout the entire store. He kept running off, grabbing things off the shelf, attempting acrobatic feats on the displays... Just generally being one of those bratty kids that I can't stand (and of course mutter disapprovingly about when I see others misbehaving in this fashion). Normally, I would have just scooped him up and left, but we really did need this stuff (particularly as we were having someone over for dinner). When we finally were done, I got the kids in their car seats, I started the car up, and I just sat there. Really needed to calm down before driving home. We get home, and my head is now pounding and my stomach is upset. I get the frozen/refrigerated food stashed, then pull out some chicken nuggets to heat for lunch.

I go about the afternoon. The kids had been playing quietly, so I thought I'd take a few minutes to write a note to a friend. I had made the card over the weekend, so just needed a couple minutes to jot a few sentences. But Mommy starting a new activity was evidently quite exciting.


"Whatcha doing?"
"Can I help?"
"Can I have this?"
"I'm hungry."
"Why are you writing a letter?"
"Can I make a letter, too?"
"Whatcha doing?"
"I'm still hungry!!"

I finally just lost it, and was yelling like a maniac.

"Leave me alone! I just need to finish this!"

and in my head, finished the line: "... so I can encourage this mom."

Definitely a wake-up call. Something about a plank in my own eye... Time to take some deep breaths, pull out my Bible, and remember what this job is all about.

And just so show God's graciousness - and sense of humor - when I got the mail around 4:00 I had received a lovely card from another friend. It was much appreciated!!

Friday Funny

This is going out to all you moms :)

If you give a mom a muffin,
She'll want a cup of coffee to go with it.
She'll pour herself some.
Her three-year-old will spill the coffee.
She'll wipe it up.
Wiping the floor, she will find dirty socks.
She'll remember she has to do laundry.
After she puts a load in the washer,
She'll trip over a toy car and bump into the freezer.
Bumping into the freezer will remind her she has to plan supper.
She will get out a pound of hamburger.
She'll look for her cookbook.
(101 Things To Make With A Pound Of Hamburger)
The cookbook is sitting under a pile of mail.
She will see the phone bill, which is due tomorrow.
She will look for her checkbook.
The checkbook is in her purse that is being dumped out by her two-year-old.
When she picks up the two-year-old, she will detect a foul odor.
While she is changing the diaper, the phone will ring.
Her five-year-old will answer and hang up.
She'll remember that she wants to phone a friend to come for coffee.
Thinking of coffee will remind her that she was going to have a cup.
She will pour herself some.
And chances are,
If she has a cup of coffee,
Her kids will have eaten the muffin that went with it

Ah, children...

Yesterday ended up being kinda crazy. I took the kids in to the doctor - they've had these colds for well over a month now, and on Sunday night our son started saying his ear hurt. Anyway, he DOES have an ear infection as well as a mild sinus infection. The pediatrician said that our daughter's symptoms looked more like allergies, so she's now on a twice daily Rx to see if that helps. Hopefully there will be less snottage and coughing at our house soon!!

On a funny note, this is how our daughter ended her day. She was wiped out, and asleep before 6:30. How on earth can someone fall asleep like that?!?

I've been reading the book Authentic Parenting in a Postmodern Culture by Mary DeMuth. Wonderful book - I'm only halfway through but am already recommending it to friends. I was reading it yesterday, as I was sitting at the pharmacy, and started chapter 7, which is about how we are a "window" for our children. It begins with this quote:

"It is our children who serve as the doorway we pass through to meet God face to face."

-Dan Allender

I know there's not any great theological truth in that statement, but it really made me stop and think. Am I looking at our kids as a way to grow closer to my Lord, or just another commitment? I've recently joked with people about our kids, how I sometimes just have to grit my teeth and remind myself that they are "our blessings from the Lord." Now parenting isn't all shiny and happy, but I've been having a hard time finding joy, as I deal with these two little people who each have their own (strong) ideas about how things should happen.

The next subtitle in the text is Children: God's Sanctification for Parents. Another phrase that stopped me short. How true!! As I parent, I have become vividly aware of my shortcomings. I used to consider myself a rather patient person - but then I had kids. Holy toledo! I've also realized just how selfish I can be, and how that manifests itself when I lash out in anger. And here's the thing about a window: it goes both ways. Are the kids growing closer to God as they watch me in action? Yes, we attend church and they have wonderful age-appropriate lessons. Yes, we read Bible stories and pray before bedtime. But am I demonstrating a godly attitude in my daily tasks? That's where it really counts, what they see on a day to day basis and what they'll remember.

Are these new ideas? Certainly not. Did I already know this? Absolutely! Am I doing it? Well, sort of...

Always good to check one's perspective.