Friday Funny

Today's funny bit is brought to you courtesy of a fellow stamper. I really like her cardmaking style, and when I read this story I was cracking up!

Last night, my friend Sheila asked me to run down to Big Lots with her.

As she was checking out, it so happened that the box of Tampax she wanted had no price. I cringed when the cashier got on the intercom and announced, "Price check on register five. Tampax; Supersize."

Now that was bad enough, but the guy looking for the price apparently mistook "Tampax" for "thumbtacks." 'Cuz, in a serious tone, his voice boomed back over the intercom, "Do you want the kind you push in with your thumb or the kind you pound in with a hammer?"

Seriously.

If I'd been along on this expedition, there's a very good chance that I would have passed out at the checkout due to lack of oxygen from laughing so hard.

(Original can be found here)

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I know that word "postmodern" is a bit scary, but Mary DeMuth offers godly, practical insights into how we can prepare our children to deal with the world - grounding them in Biblical truth so they can navigate through the shifting sands. Read the reviews at the link above - they say it much more eloquently than I could. So click over to this post and comment!!

Self Control

Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control. Proverbs 25:28 (NIV)

This is definitely a big area of struggle for me. I am selfish, and want what I want, when I want. Awfully childish attitude (especially when I spell it out like that), but that's the truth. No, this attitude didn't magically go away when I became a wife and mom. It's getting better, but still much room for improvement. I lack discipline in many areas, and I'm seeing my poor habits manifest themselves in the kids, too.

A few thoughts from Naked Fruit by Elisa Morgan:

"Self-control hems us about, protecting us from losing ground to impatience, bitterness, greed and the like... Self-control is a healthy-mindedness that watches for the holes in the walls of our lives and keeps them patched...

It's never too late to repair the wall. It may seem so. In fact, that's one of the greatest lies in our days: It's too late, it's too big, it's too bad, forget it. But because the fruit of self-control, like all spiritual fruit, is a fruit grown by God in our lives, it's not too late today and it won't be too late tomorrow... He doesn't give up on us...

The holes in our wall are patched when we learn to think truthfully about our lives in a healthy-minded fashion. What's the truth about who I am and what I do and what I want to be? A life that matters is a life connected to God. If I'm connected, I'm growing in the fruit of the Spirit - love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control - and that reality will grow in me and through me a life that matters."

Honestly, I think self-control is the most neglected fruit (particularly here in America). It's certainly the least fun - we all happily latch on to the ideas of love, joy, peace, etc... but denying our selfish impulses? Whoa!! But I also think it's really interesting to look at the order of the fruits. It all starts with love. Anyone read I Cor 13 lately? If we don't have love, everything else is pointless. And where does it end? With self-control. It's about balance, and it sort of "tempers" the other fruits, helping find the balance of being too stingy or going over the top. I've started thinking of it more along the lines of giving God control of myself. Because as already mentioned, my self is awfully weak. But when I turn it over, things get easier.

Thoughts? Anyone else struggle on this?

Checking In

Tuesday already?! Thankfully I'm feeling better and the kids don't seem to have gotten anything. And just so you can see how healthy we all are, I thought I'd share our family picture, courtesy of our daughter. I love how she and I are pink :)

We went to D's kindergarten orientation yesterday. They have a *VERY* large incoming class. Maximum class size is 25 children, and all three teachers are nearly at their max. Yikes. Very diverse group, and it will be interesting to see how it all comes together. It was also very interesting watching the kids' reactions as their names were called. Some kids went running up to the front, others clung to mom and cried, and one actually crawled under the table and literally had to be drug out. As we were leaving, D annnounced that he liked his school and wanted to know if he could start sooner. I'm so thankful that he's excited about it!

Today, unfortunately, wasn't quite so good. This morning, I told the kids that I had a super fun surprise for them, but they had to straighten up their room first, seeing as how they'd trashed it after dinner last night. They screwed around all morning - throwing toys at one another, emptying drawers, and frankly making it even worse. By 2:00, I was DONE. I told them that they had missed out on the surprise. And after talking it over with hubby, decided to let them know what it was: a trip to Sesame Place. (This place is literally right behind our mall, and we see the giant rubber ducky every time we leave A.C. Moore/Michael's. The kids have asked to go there many times, but ticket prices are outrageous. Well, some friends of ours have season passes and the park was running a special deal for Tuesdays in Aug where we could get in free by going with them) D in particular took the news really hard, and cried for at least 20 minutes.

After having that discussion with the kiddos, I couldn't help but wondering how many blessings I've missed out on because I was set on doing my own thing, rather than following God's will. I'm telling you, parenting changes your perspective on everything...

We had Chinese for dinner, (mein fun - yum!!!!) and when I pulled the fortune out of my cookie, I started laughing and immediately called hubby. Funny thing was that they had Chinese for dinner last night, and his fortune said something about a big change. Still nothing official to announce on that issue, but the cookies have spoken :)

And to end on a happy note, hubby comes home tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!

Bleh.

Summer colds are nasty things, aren't they? I've been fighting this off for a couple days, but I woke up this morning with my head pounding, cement lodged in my sinuses, and evidently my voice is off on vacation somewhere... I'm disappointed because now we'll be staying home from church (A is also running a slight fever, so that was the deciding factor).

On a side note, things have actually been going relatively well with hubby gone. Had a girls night on Friday, and it was wonderful to catch up with friends. Yesterday the kids and I pulled out the craft bin and got creative, making pipe cleaner "fairies" and painting airplanes, suncatchers, and a variety of other bits.

Tomorrow is D's kindergarten orientation, so I really need to get better. I may just pop a movie in and lay on the couch. Here's hoping the kiddos cooperate with that plan ;)

Funny quote for you - and something worth thinking about:
"A good marriage is a bit like a pet boa constrictor: either you feed it every day or bad things happen."

- Ty Wenger (from this article)

What's up?

Nothing terribly exciting to report, but I thought I'd check in. Hubby is off to AZ tomorrow so I'll be single mom-ing it for a week, which is never my favorite thing. I'm already praying that I'll be patient and gentle with the kids; mean, yelling mama tends to come out after hubby's been gone a couple days.

A few funny tidbits:

I ran out last evening to purchase some things: rye bread (for Grandma in AZ, from the fabulous Italian bakery) and fish (from the Asian market that's in the same plaza as the bakery). Well, I got the bread in record time and walked over to H-Mart. Grabbed some fruit (they have great prices, plus their produce is always in really nice shape), then headed to the back. There was quite a line for fresh fish (not unsual), and since I was actually shopping for the next day, I figured I'd head over to the freezer section. Score - whole tilapia for $1.79/lb! I was in a hurry so grabbed two of the smaller ones. Well, when I got back home hubby pointed out just how *whole* the fish were. I knew I'd paid for eyes (again, not unusual at this store) but didn't realize we also were lucky enough to receive the entrails. Note to self: take 2.3 seconds to see if fish has been gutted.

The kids are really into knock-knock jokes these days, and were making up some doozies at dinner last night. Our daughter in particular was on a roll, and here's a sample:

• Knock Knock
• (me) Who's There?
• Feet
• (me) Feet who?
• Feet in the feezy (half breath) Now you have to laugh, Mom!

She was being so goofy and obviously not making much sense, but it was the "you have to laugh" part (every single time!) that really had me rolling. Wanna hear what I came up with?

• Knock Knock
• Who's There?
• Eyebrow
• Eyebrow who?
• Eyebrow nose, so I've been promoted at work!

(The kids definitely didn't appreciate it, and hubby just rolled his eyes. So much for my rapier wit!)

Expositional Listening

Ran across this article at New Attitude and thought I'd pass it along. Taken from the book What is a Healthy Church Member? by Thabiti Anyabwile

If churches are to be healthy, then pastors and teachers must be committed to discovering the meaning of Scripture and allowing that meaning to drive the agenda with their congregations... Just as the pastor’s preaching agenda should be determined by the meaning of Scripture, so too should the Christian’s listening agenda be driven by the meaning of Scripture. When we listen to the preaching of the Word, we should not listen primarily for “practical how-to advice,” though Scripture teaches us much about everyday matters. Nor should we listen for messages that bolster our self-esteem or that rouse us to political and social causes. Rather, as members of Christian churches we should listen primarily for the voice and message of God as revealed in his Word. We should listen to hear what he has written, in his omniscient love, for his glory and for our blessing.

So what exactly do I mean by “expositional listening”? Expositional listening is listening for the meaning of a passage of Scripture and accepting that meaning as the main idea to be grasped for our personal and corporate lives as Christians.

Expositional listening benefits us, first, by cultivating a hunger for God’s Word. As we tune our ears... we grow accustomed to listening to God... His Word, his voice, becomes sweet to us (Ps. 119:103–4); and as it does, we are better able to push to the background the many voices that rival God’s voice for control over our lives... God’s agenda for his people takes center stage, reorders our priorities, and directs us in the course that most honors him. The Lord himself proclaimed, “My sheep listen to my voice, and I know them, and they follow me” (John 10:27). Listening to the voice of Jesus as it is heard in his Word is critical to following him...

Expositional listening protects the gospel and our lives from corruption. The Scripture tells us “the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths” (2 Tim. 4:3–4). The failure to listen expositionally has disastrous effects. False teachers enter the church and hinder the gospel. Ultimately, the truth is displaced by myths and falsehoods. Where members cultivate the habit of expositional listening they guard themselves against “itching ears” and protect the gospel from corruption...

Repeatedly, the New Testament writers exhort local churches to be unified—to be of one mind. Paul writes to one local church, “I appeal to you, brothers, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree and that there may be no divisions among you, but that you may be united in the same mind and the same judgment” (1 Cor. 1:10; see also Rom. 12:16; 2 Cor. 13:11; 1 Pet. 3:8). As we gather together in our local churches and give ourselves to hearing the voice of God through his preached Word, we’re shaped into one body. We are united in understanding and purpose. And that unity testifies to the truth of the gospel of Jesus Christ (John 17:21). But if we listen with our own interests and agendas in mind, if we develop “private interpretations” and idiosyncratic views, we risk shattering that unity, provoking disputes over doubtful matters, and weakening our corporate gospel witness.

Well, if expositional listening is so vital to the health of individual church members and the church as a whole, how does a person form such a habit?

...Instead of rushing off after the service is over, or talking about the latest news, develop the habit of talking about the sermon with people after church. Start spiritual conversations by asking, “How did the Scripture challenge or speak to you today?” Or, “What about God’s character most surprised or encouraged you?” Encourage others by sharing things you learned about God and his Word during the sermon. Make particular note of how your thinking has changed because of the meaning of Scripture itself. And pray with others that God would keep the congregation from becoming “dull of hearing” and that he would bless the congregation with an increasingly strong desire for the “solid food” of his Word (Isa. 6:9–10; Heb. 5:11–14)...

Choose one or two particular applications from the Scripture and prayerfully put them into practice over the coming week. If your church has an audio ministry or a website that posts recent summaries, take advantage of these opportunities to feed your soul with the click of a mouse. With your pastor’s support, establish small groups that review and apply the sermons. Or, use the sermons and your notes as a resource in one-on-one discipleship relationships. I know of several families that have a regular sermon-review time as their Sunday evening family devotional. There are a hundred ways to keep the sermon alive in your spiritual life by reviewing God’s Word throughout the week. Be creative. It’s well worth the planning... Moreover, don’t be passive in your private study; seek answers by searching the Scripture yourself and by talking with accountability partners or small groups. But don’t forget that the pastor has likely spent more time than most in thinking about that passage and is there to feed you God’s Word. Follow up the sermon with questions and comments that would be an encouragement to your pastor and a blessing to your soul...

As you dig into God’s Word, listening for his voice, you will no doubt begin to grow and discover many wonderful treasures. But as you grow, do not become a “professional sermon listener” who is always hearing but never learning. Beware of false knowledge that “puffs up” (1 Cor. 1:8; Col. 2:18) and tends to cause strife and dissension. Mortify any tendencies toward pride, the condemnation of others, and critical nitpicking. Instead, seek to meet Jesus each time you come to the Scripture; gather from the Word fuel for all-of-life worship. Instead of exalting ourselves, let us remember the apostle Peter’s words: “Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time” (1 Pet. 5:6).

It is hearing the message and the Word of God that leads to saving faith (Rom.10:17). Church members are healthy when they give themselves to hearing this message as a regular discipline. Expositional listening promotes such health for individual members and entire churches.